A candlelit evening

This is my (okay... I'm not bragging about it) award-winning piece from the Division Schools Press Conference Training held last September 2007 in Perpetual Molino Campus. I couldn't find the copy of my Magdalenean newspaper on my bag but thanks to Rob, he posted this piece on his blog and if you allow me to Rob, let me repost it. As I was saying, I am the representative of our school to compete for the Feature Writing in English alongside with Ciara, the representative of Feature Writing in Filipino. I didn't go there to win. I was hoping that I should try my luck and write from my heart. Competition is not included in my system. I was just there to write and nothing more. The topic of the competition is: "What does prayer mean to you?". And what would I write? I have nothing to write. Nothing's decent is coming in to my mind. If I could write five sentences, that would be lucky for me. No, I shouldn't say the word lucky. I should say the word fortunate. It was an on-the-spot competition and we're given a one hour time to finish the essay. As I sat there on the cold, silent room, I think I'm gonna burst in tears! I don't really know what to write to tell you honestly. But then, God must be so good to lend me his power for just a little while so as not to embarass the holy name of our school - St. Mary Magdalene's School. Luckily, I managed to write something but the last problem would be: How would I end this thing? A woman who's on the room said that there's only two minutes left. That made me cry. This is really embarrassing, I thought. But then, God lend me his power some more to end the essay in a very decent manner. When the awarding ceremony came, I was enthralled with the fact that I have actually won first place in my category! And what's the great plus here? I actually bested 45 private school students and even the last year's champion? Talk about luck or tsamba. Now here's this piece (no, I don't wanna call it a 'masterpiece' 'cause that would be too much). Tell me what you think about it guys.

A dark night. A wooden table. A small candle. A tear.

My emotion won over my innocence as we gathered around a wooden table. Darkness filled the whole room. The silence was deafening. As time passed by, silence pained and slaughtered me each and every second.

The pain of seeing my father and my mother separating after so many years of what seemed like an everlasting love was intolerable. I watched the candle’s fire dance rhythmically and modestly with the unseen cold wind. I saw the glimmering eyes of my sister. It was not caused by the candlelight; it was because of her bitter tears.

“Please, Mom… Dad, don’t leave us,” she begged while gripping into my mother’s arms.

“We can’t stay together. It is my fault. I have to pay for this,” sobbing, my mother answered. My sister turned to my father but he did not answer.

What could a little child do? Nothing. I could not do anything. I excused myself from the painful gathering and as I explored the place which I considered home, my feet led me to my mother’s room. Inside it, I saw a crucifix and an altar lit with scented candles. then I said to Him, “If I cannot bring back the happiness I used to have before, You can take my life away.” For that very moment, Happiness was all in oblivion.

Then suddenly, something changed. There was finally warmth that touched my hollow heart. I then realized the essence and magic of prayer.

Prayer is like a dark night. You cry, you stumble and you fall but still there is a new tomorrow that brings new hope.

Prayer is like a wooden table. If you keep on believing, you will realize that you, as a human being, can face and overcome any life’s storm.

Prayer is like a small candle. It may be gone for a while but if you strive to find the light that you search in your life, time will come when you will be enlightened.

Prayer is like a tear. It falls but it never runs out.

Prayer is a candlelit evening. You may think that prayers are left unanswered, but soon you will get to understand that the more you dig, the more you find the enlightenment.

Darkness is just temporary. Prayer can overcome it. I may have failed to reconcile my parents but I am sure that God has beautiful plans for me. He might have made my life like a candlelit evening but I do not get mad. No matter what, I still fervently believe that through my prayer, my life will end up standing and burning - ready to forget the absurdity and melancholy that yesterday gave me.

Pendant: Part I posted.

Okay, naipost ko na ang kaepalan ng aking 'high-school chuvaness memory' sa link na ito:

IMAHINASYON! CLICK IT!


Hinide ko yung comments kaya doon na lang kayo magkumento sa aking shoutbox. Hehe. :D. Sana magustuhan niyo. I'll gonna post the story by parts kasi.

Istorya blog link

Mga kapwa kong bloggers, eto na ang link sa istorya blog ko. Wala pa akong istoryang naipopost diyan. Introduction lang yan ng unang istorya na ifi-feature ko. Bisitahin niyo at add niyo na din sa inyong links. Salamat!:

IMAHINASYON! CLICK NIYO 'TO

Istorya blog

Mga kapwa kong bloggers, gusto ko lang sana ipaalam na magkakaroon ako ng 'Story Blog'. Bukod pa itong 'Ang buhay ay parang sine blog' doon. Kaya add niyo din yung upcoming story blog ko. Ito yung mga collection ko ng short stories, long stories (novel na bang maitatawag yun? Haha) at kung anu-anu pang kaepalang ginagawa ko kapag ako'y bored. Kaya kung boring kayo, click niyo lang ang story blog ko sa links niyo at basahin niyo ang mundong puno ng imahinasyon. Hindi ko pa siya nagagawa, kasi ni-re-retrieve ko pa yung mga sulat-kamay kong istorya doon sa aking mahiwagang baul. Sana suportahan ninyo at kapag nagawa na, please spread the word. :D

Nakita ko siya

Kanina, nakita ko siya. Hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko. Gustong-gusto kong lapitan siya ngunit may isang puwersang pumigil sa akin upang gawin iyon. Ano nga ba? Natatakot ako na baka hindi niya ako pansinin? Natatakot ako na baka ako'y kanyang sisihin? Ngunit... bakit ako matatakot kung hanggang ngayo'y siya pa 'din ang nasa puso ko? Handa ako. Handang-handa ako sa kung anuman ang mangyayari sa tagpong iyon. Halos malusaw ang aking kaluluwa na unting-unting sumusugat sa aking puso habang pinagmamasdan ko siya sa malayo. Ayun siya't naglalakad, ngunit ang aking bawat pasulyap ay nakaw sapagkat ayokong makita niya ang sugat na unting-unting kumikirot sa aking katawan. May sakit na nagising sa aking kalooban. Ang sakit na hindi ko maipaliwanag kung gaano kahapdi. Para bang, sinusugatan ako ng blade ng paulit-ulit at ito'y binubuhusan ng alcohol hanggang sa hindi na nito mahanap ang paghilom dahil ang sugat ay napakalalim na at ito'y kinakailangan ng tahiin upang ang lahat ay bumalik sa dati at magsarado ang nakaraan. Naaalala ko ang nakaraan. Ang nakaraan na gustong-gusto ko pa din balikan. Dati rati, hindi nakaw ang sulyap ko sa kanya. Tinititigan ko ang kanyang mga mata na umaagos hanggang sa kaibuturan ng kanyang kaluluwa at doo'y sinasabi ko na 'Mahal na mahal kita'. Ngunit hindi ko na magagawa. May isang malaking pader na humaharang upang ako'y mapalapit sa kanya. Kung maibabalik ko nga lang ang lahat ngunit ang pag-asa ay naglaho ng parang bula. Hindi bale, masaya na ako para sa kanya. Sapagkat alam ko, malapit niya na maabot ang rurok ng tagumpay. Ngunit ang nakakalungkot na parte sa kasiyahang ito ay... wala ako para makisaya sa kanya. :(

Salamat!

Yehey! Nanalo ako! Salamat ng marami sa inyo, mga kapwa kong blogger, dahil sinuportahan niyo ako sa prestihiyosong Chorva Blog Awards na ito. Napakalaking bagay sa akin ang manalo dito, sapagkat unang-una, gusto kong mapalawak pa ang mga bumabasa ng bawat artikulong sinusulat ko mula sa blog site na ito at pangalawa, para na 'rin sa exposure ko (oh ayan, straight-to-the-point na ako. Haha!). Sa mga bumoto sa akin, maraming maraming salamat! Asahan niyo na kapag kayo naman ang nominado sa isang patimpalak na kagaya nito, wag kayo magatubili na humingi ng suporta sa akin. Basta... maraming maraming salamat talaga sa inyong lahat. :D

EHEM! EHEM! KAUNTING ADVERTISEMENT LAMANG: Bisitahin niyo naman ang blog site ng fellow blogger natin na si Mr. Rob Jeremiah Nuguid. Promise - he's really a good blogger! Eto po yung blog site niya: http://throbe.co.cc. Open siya sa exchange links.

Goodbye, SDCAS. Hello STI.

As the first day of school come this June approaches, I can't help but feel melancholic, nostalgic and nervous. I'll be leaving my former school, St. Dominic College of Arts and Sciences and will be transferring to STI College - the real home for an IT professional in the making like me. The reason for my departure to SDCAS? It's because of the incompetency of the IT Department. They failed to give us knowledge to further understand and hone our craft in programming and in enhancing our analytical thinking and logic reasoning. The other instructors in the IT Department are unprofessional since they tend to take the student's negative attitude personally. And the consequence for acting like such a jerk to your instructors? Failing grades. That's how immature, unprofessional and incompetent the IT Department is. We need comprehensive and intensive learning, not behavioral learning. Of course, as an IT professional in the making, we need to straighten our behavior, too but that's for us to learn all by ourselves and we don't need a book nor do we need an instructor for the betterment of our etiquette when we enter the corporate world four years after the painstaking process for us to be on top of the ladder. So enough of the negative remarks about the IT Department of my former school. I wanted to share to you my most cherished moments through my one school year of staying at SDCAS.

Okay, let me tell you the story behind why I chose to study to SDCAS instead of enroling at STI. This is the most pathetic and lamest excuse I can come up with - for me to be with my ex-boyfriend. I never really plan on taking up IT because I'm no computer genius like my other classmates. I suck at Math which means, I'm no good in programming. Programming sure needs a lot of Math. The course that I really want to take up is Mass Communication because I want to see myself on the TV clad with a serious face in a calm but reasonable tone and delivering some lines in front of thousands and thousands of people watching the news. I wanted to be the next Korina Sanchez - but my dreams are falling apart right on my feet because of the crazy little thing called love. I was so stupid of giving up my own dream just to be with my ex-boyfriend and look at me now - I'm alone and I'm single and I'm regretting it. But it's okay, I am now taking the IT world seriously and I wanted to enhance my skills much as I would like to be successful in the field that I've chosen.

So what are my most precious moments of staying at SDCAS? First, meeting my coolest, craziest and loudest friends. At SDCAS, I've been friends with almost all of my classmates, which means I don't have even a single enemy on my section which makes my stay at SDCAS more meaningful. But since I'm one-of-the-boys kind of girl, I'm closest with the guys. I get along with them pretty well because they perfectly understand my boyish personality, my fondness of eating street foods and my bizarre habits. I usually do trash-talking with them and I'm more comfortable talking that way. Aside from that, our late-in-the-night talking, inuman and laughing out loud sessions. We like talking about anything under the sun up to the latest gadgets, my latest crush and the latest happenings on campus. We're fond of doing sleepovers on each other's houses. They've slept in my house way too many times already and after a crazy night, my house looks like it had been hit by a tornado. I swear, they're gross and messy but that's the way I like them. They've also been there beside me through thick and thin. They always, always support me in my dreams and they never fail to cheer me up when I'm suffering on a bad hair day. And I'm gonna miss my band, Ampersand! Composed of Me doing vocals, Glenn for drums, Kenneth for bass and Fridz for lead and rhythm guitars. We do covers of Paramore's songs. And I'll never forget the day that Fridz taught me how to play Paramore's songs. It's been three years since I last hold of of a guitar and the strings feels rough and painful to me but I don't mind. Haha! And I'll also never forget the day that I sang "My Immortal" acoustic version on stage in front of the other college students of SDCAS! I know as a vocalist of a band, I should have to gain enough confidence so that I'll be able to perform on some of the gigs really well. But unfortunately, the band disbanded and I'm planning to form a new one at my new school. Ah well, I guess that's life. And what's more? My SDCAS friends taught me how to bathe in the rain like you just don't care! Okay so you can get sick and everything, but I don't really mind. Life's too short to waste and according to my own life's dogma, 'Experience the experience and you're not getting any younger for you to take a slice of adventure'. Maybe if I would have to enumerate the things why it's seems so hard to forget SDCAS, I am pretty sure that I'll end up reciting my story 'til tomorrow.

So there I am come this June... facing a new life. I'll be meeting new friends, new crushes, new instructors and will be loading up on new subjects. Now wish me luck guys! I'm still nervous. :(

Summer resolution

It's not always in the holidays that you can come up with a resolution. You can do such on a time like this - where boredom is excruciating and is getting into your nerves. Last night on my room, while my favorite cousin Monique is sleeping, I grabbed my new notebook and my trusty old pen and wrote about anything that's disturbing my wide, imaginative and simply witty mind (oh come on fellow blogger/s, I'm saying this in an opposite manner). Turns out, I came up with a SUMMER RESOLUTION! I'm dying to share my summer resolution to you guys:

• No boyfriend for 6 months! (I swore on that but then it never happened. Maybe it will work out this time. *cross fingers*)
• Be a more understanding person
  
• Never, ever say something that I will regret later on!
• Be a brutally honest person (But sometimes, I can't help but lie! Oh bad me! Why should I have to lie? Human nature, eh?)
• Take care of my own home (My blog! My blog! Sometimes when I'm very, very busy, I tend to forget on coming up with a new post on my blog so this time, I'll take care of it!)
• Learn not to fall in love in the spur-of-the-moment because I might end up feeling infatuated instead of falling in love. (That never works, either!)

Pagsulat

BAGO KO PO SIMULAN ANG POST NA ITO AY HUMIHINGI LANG PO AKO NG KAUNTING TULONG SA INYO, AKING MGA FELLOW BLOGGER, NA IBOTO PO AKO SA CHORVA BLOG AWARDS. NARITO PO ANG LINK: http://chorvacheorvamus.blogspot.com/ AKO PO KASI AY NOMINADO. NASA SIDEBAR LANG PO NG NASABING BLOG ANG POLL, AT NAROON PO ANG PAMAGAT NG AKING BLOG: ANG BUHAY AY PARANG SINE. SA MGA BUMOTO NA, MARAMING MARAMING SALAMAT PO. AT SA MGA HINDI PA NAKAKABOTO, BUMOTO NA PO KAYO! MARAMING MARAMING SALAMAT PO.

Ano nga ba ang pagsusulat para sa akin? Kung ako'y inyong tatanungin, marami akong maaring kahulugan na ibigay ng pagsusulat. Na ang pagsusulat ay isang hobby... Na ang pagsusulat ay ang panandaliang pagtakas sa realidad. Na ang pagsusulat ay ang sumasalamin sa ating pagkatao... sa ating kaluluwa... sa ating buhay at sa ating mapaglarong isipan.

Bata pa lang ako, hilig ko na ang pagsusulat. Isang umaga, alas-singko ng umaga sa aking pagkakatanda, ay pinasok ko ang isang lumang kuwarto na siyang imbakan ng aking mga kuwaderno at kung anu-anu pang papel na ang laman ay ang aking mga sinulat na tula, kuwento at ng aking mga nadarama. Naisip ko na.. "Aba, nag-improve na pala ako sa aking pagsusulat".

Gusto ko maging katulad ni William Shakespeare, ni Bob Ong, ni Emily Dickinson at ni Rainer Maria Rilke... ngunit, kailangan kong gumising sa isang realidad na hindi ako magaling magsulat. Ngunit pinipilit kong magpakahusay, dahil ito ang aking pangarap. Ang pagsusulat, para sa isang katulad ko, ay hindi lamang isang simpleng hobby o isang eskapo sa tunay na buhay... ngunit ang pagsusulat ay aking buhay.

Ito ang nagpapalakas sa akin. Ito ang nagpapawala ng aking mga suliranin. Ito ang lahat-lahat para sa akin. Mapa-blog man yan o old school, wala na sa akin iyon... basta ako'y makapagsulat lamang. Iniisip ko, kung gagaling ako, anung mapapala ko? Sisikat? Bibigyan ng parangal?

Ngunit sa aking bawat sinusulat, isa lamang ang aking pakay - ang makapagpabago ng buhay ng ilan na sumusubaybay sa bawat artikulong sinusulat ko, mapa-Ingles man o Tagalog. Marami na akong nakikilala na buhay na 'din nila ang pagsusulat, at natutuwa ako sa kanila dahil marami 'din palang nakakaintindi ng aking hilig.

Natutuwa din ako, sapagkat, ang aking mga magulang, kapamilya at aking mga kaibigan ay nauunawaan ang pagkahumaling ko sa isang mundong punung-puno ng letra, tagumpay at pagkabigo.

Pagsulat... ito na ang aking buhay. Pagsulat... hindi ako mabubuhay ng wala ka.

Lab at prenship

Rachelle: Mare, I feel so bad.

Me: Why?

Rachelle: Kasi, binawi na niya yung promise na iniwan niya sa akin dati.

Me: And what's that promise?

Rachelle: Na hindi niya ako iiwan. Na together forever na kami.

Sigh, fellow bloggers. It's about love that we're talking about today. No, it's not all about me but it's all about my friend Rachelle's dilemma. She texted me this afternoon telling me that she and her boyfriend got into a fight.
I rushed to her house because I felt this strong urge to comfort her as she mourn... to pat her shoulder and telling her that everything is going to be alright... and listen as she bitches about her problem though I could hardly hear it for her voice was so soft.
She told me that her boyfriend's giving her a cold shoulder. She even told me that when they do talk, they couldn't think of anything to talk to. It's like, when they talk - it's nothing but pure BOREDOM.
Rachelle asked me for advice since she knows that I've been there before. And what advice could I give her? I'm not good in giving advices simply because I can't give a good advice to my own bad self. But since I love her as my friend and that I don't want her to feel alone, I tried my best to cheer her up and gave her my own understanding about boys (not men, I still can't fathom men as of this moment). I told her this: "Alam mo mare, eto lang yan ha? Kung hindi ka handa magsacrifice, kung hindi ka handa na ibigay ang lahat, ilet-go mo na kasi sa bandang huli ikaw din ang mahihirapan kung hindi 100% yung nararamdaman mo sa isang tao. Marami pa naman diyan eh, maganda ka naman at marami din naman nagkakagusto sa'yo. Pero eto lang, kung talagang ayaw mo siya mawala sa'yo, subukan mo kayang alamin kung anu yung gusto niya? Kunware, mahilig siya sa basketball, kahit hindi ka mahilig, edi subukan mong magkaroon ng kahit kaunting alam para naman may mapagusapan kayo. Kasi ang mga lalaki, hindi lang puro pa-sweet ang hinahanap niyan sa girlfriend, gusto 'din nila ng isang kaibigan na puede nilang sabihan ng kahit anung mga hilig nila. Gusto din kaya nung mga lalaki na minsan, may boyish personality 'din yung isang babae, yun kasi yung masarap kasama eh."

I hope I got it right. That's my own understanding about the nature of boys, based on my experience with my ex. I tried my best to know a thing or two about skateboarding and Tau Gamma Phi, his fraternity so that we have something to talk about when we couldn't think of anything else to talk about. But of course, a healthy relationship should also learn the value of "give and take". It's a cliche principle but more often than not, it works. If you always, always talk about your bf/gf's favorites (e.g basketball, makeup), what about your own likes? A relationship isn't a relationship without the virtues of love and friendship. And I am thankful that as of this moment, though I honestly admit that I'm not good in giving advices, my friend and her boyfriend are finally okay. Looks like, I should have to shift to a new career: A love guru. Haha. LOL.

Pritong manok

Oo, aking mga kapwa blogger - kapatid ko iyang nasa litratong iyan kahit mukha akong katulong kapag kasama ko siya. Napakaputi niya. Napakaganda. Napakasexy. Napakatalino. Parang halos 'ata lahat ng NAPAKA nasakanya na. Kung mayroon nga lang isang sister's day, siguro, gagawa ako pero huli na... huli na ang lahat para magkaroon pa ng sister's day. Hindi kami nag-uusap. Limang buwan na ang nakakaraan.
Oo nga pala, bago ko simulan ang isang istorya ay ipinapakilala ko sa inyo ang aking kapatid na si Corrine Rojo Soriano, 25 anyos at nagtatrabaho bilang isang Level 5 Bank Teller sa Banco de Oro, Mall of Asia Branch. Tatlong taon na siyang loyal sa kumpanyang ito.
Ano nga ba ang istorya sa likod ng aming hindi pagpapansinan? Sabihin ninyong napakababaw ng aming pinagawayan pero kung ating susuriin, napakababaw naman talaga. Tungkol lamang ito sa isang hita ng pritong manok na nakalatag sa ibabaw ng plato sa aming mesa at nagaanyaya upang siya'y kainin ko dahil ang aking sikmura ay kumakalam na.
Kagagaling ko lang noon ng aming retreat, at dahil sa isang kakaibang klima, mula Tagaytay pabalik ng Kawit, mula malamig hanggang sa mainit, ay nagkasakit ako. Kailangan kong kumain. Kailangan kong magkaroon ng laman ang aking sikmura upang ako'y makainom ng gamot. Kumain ako, dahil bukod sa gutom na gutom na ako ng mga panahong iyon ay paborito ko ang fried chicken. Ngunit diyahe, nandoon ang boyfriend niya.
Ehem mga ka-bloggers, ayoko ng i-mention ang pangngalan ng boyfriend niya dahil baka mapahiya. So, as usual, nandoon na naman ang boyfriend niya sa bahay namin para magdinner. Nakisabay ako, siyempre dahil ka-close ko na 'rin naman ang boyfriend ng ate ko. Pero noong kinuha ko ang isang hita ng manok (na siyang ulam namin noong gabing iyon) ay nagalit ang ate ko sa akin dahil sinabi niya na pagkain daw nila yun. Nagpanting ang tenga ko, para bang nakakabingi na para bang isang kanta mula sa isang Death Metal band.
Ano daw?! Pagkain daw nila iyon?! Samantalang ang pritong manok ay ulam namin! Puede naman siguro magluto ng ibang ulam eh. Nakadalawang hirit na iyong boyfriend niya ng pritong manok, samantalang isang hita lamang ang kinain ko at napakaliit pa.
Kaya iyon ang pinagugatan ng aming istorya kung bakit hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa 'din kami nagpapansinan. Ayaw naman makielam ang Mama ko sa away namin, dahil alam niya ang ugali ng ate ko na medyo matigas ang loob.
Isipin natin, medyo matigas 'din ang loob ko pero lumalambot kapag usapang pampamilya na. Gusto ko na talagang makipagbati sa ate ko, ngunit hindi ko alam kung paano sisimulan.
Gusto ko makipagbati sa kanya. Tanggap ko na na mas mahalaga ang boyfriend niya kaisa sa amin. Paano ba naman kasi, apat na taon na sila noong lalaking iyon at pakiramdam ko nga ay sila na ang ikakasal. Matanda naman 'din kasi sila pareho.
Hay ewan ko ba. May maibibigay ba kayong payo sa akin mga ka-bloggers para magbati na kami ng ate ko? Hay ewan ko ba oh, kapag umiral nga naman ang pagkabata.

Things to do before I turn 35!

I don't mind being 30 but I do mind being 35. So if destiny will allow me to do so, there are a lot (and I do mean a lot!) of things to do before I turn 35. So here are those things:

• Go bungee jumping in Indonesia!
• Shop 'til I drop in New York!
• Have a dinner on the sidewalk cafeterias of Paris and see the Eiffel tower!
• See The Last Supper in Santa Maria Dela Grazie!
• Go to Honolulu, Hawaii and take my friends there to enjoy the sun!
• Party at Boracay!
• See the Petronas Tower in Malaysia!
• Go to Hong Kong Disneyland!
• See the ruins of Athens most especially the Parthenon - the most copied architecture in the world!
• Eat authentic Japanese food at Tokyo!
• Live for one year on the English countryside!
• Explore the Alps in Switzerland!
• Read a book beside a lake in Finland!
• Ride a gondola in Venice!
• Visit the Louvre Museum in France!
• See the Leaning Tower of Pisa in Italy!
• Go bargain hunting in Bangkok!
• Visit the Great Wall of China!
• Go to Washington D.C and meet Barack Obama!
• Have a picture taken with Manny Pacquiao in Saranggani Province!
• Visit Baguio!
• Produce in Indie Film!
• Publish a novel!
• Make a website!
• Have a two-week vacation in Amsterdam!
• Visit the Buckingham Palace in London!
• Visit the Taj Mahal in Agra, India!
• Eat an authentic shawarma in Iran!
• Stay for a night in the Al Burj Dubai Hotel!
• Make a snowman in Korea!
• See the Gothic Cathedrals in Germany!
• See the Ancient Mayan Civilization in Mexico!
• Get married at the age of 25!
• Have 3 kids! A girl and a boy!
• Have a solid band!
• Learn to play the drums!
• Go to mass at the Vatican!
• Live in a manor in England!
• Go to Hollywood!

Yipee! Getting really ambitious but that's okay. I took this ambitious pill and swallowed it like crazy. Dreams do come true. I know that.

Ang mabuting ina. Bow. Isang tunay na istorya.

Mga kapwa blogger, pagpasensiyahan niyo na kung ganyan ang litrato ng aking super duper mama in the world! Stolen lang niyan noong Nobyembre 1, 2008. Nakakasigurado ako na eto hindi man lahat, pero yung ibang ka-fellow blogger ko ay ito ang pakay ng kanilang post - upang batiin ang kanilang mga butihing ina ng isang malutong at masarap pakinggan sa tainga na: Happy Mother's Day, Ma... Inay... Mommy... Inang... Oh kahit ano pa ang inyong tawag!

Ngunit teka, gusto kong pakinggan ninyo ang aking kuwento tungkol sa aking Mama. Ipinapakilala ko siya bilang si Milagros Celestial Rojo. Actually, hindi talaga siya ang tunay kong nanay. Tiyahin ko lang siya, nakakatandang kapatid ng aking tunay na nanay. Wala siyang asawa dahil pinagkaitan ng tadhana na magkaroon ng asawa. Buong buhay niya kasi, simula pagkabata, iniukol na niya para sa kanyang pamilya. Nagalaga ng mga nakababatang kapatid, tinulungan ang kanyang mga magulang sa pagtatrabaho upang mabuhay at hindi na nakapag-aral pa dahil kailangang magbanat ng buto. Samantalang ang kanyang ibang mga kapatid, ang aking mga tiya at tiyuhin, ay nakapagtapos ng kolehiyo at hayun, naroon na sa Amerika at mayroon ng isang maganda at matatag na buhay. American Citizen na sila, kumbaga. Samantalang ang Mama ko (Tawag ko sa aking tiyahin), American Citizen na nga, pero hindi pa 'rin makapunta ng Amerika dahil natatakot siya na iwanan kami.

Kaming tatlong magkakapatid ay wala ng mga magulang. Bakit? Heto sasabihin ko na. Nakakulong ang tunay kong nanay sa Mandaluyong, yung Correctional Institute for Women. 20 years ata ang sentensiya na dahil sa kasong Estafa. Ang aking tatay naman ay nagbabanat ng buto sa Saudi, at doon, hindi namin alam kung may iba na siyang pamilya. Pero nagpapadala pa 'din naman siya ng pera upang ako'y makapag-aral at upang may magastos kami sa araw-araw. Matagal na kasing hiwalay ang aking mga magulang, simula pa noong nakulong ang nanay ko. Matagal na siya nakakulong. Siguro, humigit isang dekada na. Natatandaan ako, pitong taon pa lang ako noong nakulong siya. Batang-bata. Hindi pa alam kung anu ang mga nangyayari sa mundo. Grade 1 pa lang ako noon. Pero ang masakit, nakita ko ang nanay ko na dinampot ng mga pulis. Umiiyak, ayaw kaming iwan. Nakatulala lang ako at hindi makagalaw sa aking kinatatayuan noong mga panahon na iyon. Hindi ko kasi alam kung anung nangyayari.

Noong ako'y nagkaroon na ng tamang malay upang maunawaan ang mga bagay-bagay sa aking paligid, saka ko na lang nalaman na nakulong nga ang aking nanay. Ewan ko ba, pero wala akong naramdamang lungkot. Tawagin ninyo na akong isang masamang anak ngunit hindi man lang pumatak ang aking luha sa aking mga mata. Siguro kasi, lumaki ako na wala siya. Lumaki ako na hindi malapit ang loob ko sa kanya. Lumaki ako na ang Mama ko na ang nag-aalaga sa akin.

Ang Mama ko na, na hindi na nakapag-asawa para lang alagaan kami. Ang Mama ko na ipinagpalit ang lahat ng kanyang kaligayahan upang may mag-alaga lang sa aming magkakapatid. Ang Mama ko na napakabait. Ang Mama ko na madasalin. Ang Mama ko na nagturo sa akin upang maging isang mabuting tao. Hindi ba, yung ibang kabataan, kapag lumaki ng walang magulang, napapabayaan ang kanilang sarili at naliligaw ng kanilang mga landas? Ngunit ako? Kami? Hindi. Alam namin ang tama sa mali. Alam namin na kailangan naming mag-aral upang matumbasan ang lahat ng paghihirap ng aking ama na matiyagang nagbabanat ng buto sa Saudi. Hindi madali ang pera. Hindi madali ang buhay. Iyan lamang ang mga magagandang aral na napulot ko sa aking Mama. Kaya kahit ganito ako minsan, nagiinom, alam ko pa 'din ang aking mga responsibilidad bilang isang kabataan. Inaamin ko naman eh, may mga kalokohan din ako sa utak pero hindi yung sagad-sagaran.

Ang Mama ko... Hay napakasuwerte ko talaga sa kanya! Napakasuwerte talaga namin sa kanya! Siya ang nagsilbing gabay sa aming paglaki, ang nagsilbing ilaw sa aming mga madidilim na gabi. Mahal na mahal namin siya, kahit hindi namin ito masabi sa kanya. Hindi man niya kami mga tunay na anak, feeling namin na sa kanya pa 'din kami nanggaling. Ang pagiging ina, hindi naman kailangan na sa iyong sinapupunan mo talaga nanggaling. Minsan nga, sa iyo na nga nanggaling ang bata, pinapabayaan mo pa. Pero siya? Tinuring niya kami higit pa sa isang tunay na anak.

Basta, mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal namin siya! :)

Insomniac

Here I am in front of the computer again. I am alone here in the living room as usual. People here in this creepy old house are sleeping - except me, of course. I never hit the sheets as early as eleven in the evening. I usually call it a night when the clock says that it's 6 am in the morning. My bro told me awhile ago, while my brain is still clouded, that I have insomnia. Although I'm a little bit of a sleepyhead that time, I still can remember what my brother told about me being an insomniac. Okay so now I honestly admit that I am an insomniac. Like, it's a big deal. But other people said that you could die when you lack of sleep. Okay, so a typical, healthy and obviously normal human would sleep for about 6-8 hours while me, the weirdest human in this entire universe, would sleep for only 4 hours everyday. It's like, I'm a celebrity who's got a lot of appointments that's why I never had the chance to sleep. Might as well purchase that bottle of sleeping pills on the shelf of the drug store so I finally had this good night's sleep for the very first time in my life. I just hope that I could sleep as early as midnight - and that, for me, I will consider a miracle.

Hi! I'm Chazzel.

Hello there fellow blogger/s! I really, really want to introduce myself to you guys and since I can be open with just about anything and everything, I also want to be open about my life so that you'll get to know more about me (Who cares?! Haha).

First of all, my full name is Chazzel Rojo Soriano. I was born on April 28, 1992 in Cavite City. My parents are Corazon Rojo Soriano and Rolando Convento Soriano. I am currently residing in Kawit, Cavite - which served as my hometown for the past seventeen years of my existence. I got two older siblings namely Kristofferson Soriano and Corrine Soriano. My kuya is 28 and my ate is 25 and I'm 17. Yeah, the gap's long, alright. My zodiac sign is Taurus.

I learned to read at 3 but I still have no idea what age did I learn to speak. I went to school at 4 in Emilio Aguinaldo Elementary School. It's just a few blocks away from our house. When I was 5, my mom transferred me to St. Mary Magdalene School and I stayed there 'til my last year of high-school. I am currently taking up Bachelor of Science in Information Technology (BSIT) at St. Dominic College of Arts and Sciences but will transfer to STI Bacoor. Haha, I still can't believe that I'm now an irregular student. But it's okay. At least I'm not an irregular student because of my failing grades, right?

My favorite colors are Red, Pink, Green, White and Black. I listen to Rock Music - any genre even Death Metal! :). I am a cam-wh*re and yes, I like taking pictures of myself and I admit it, thank you. I also adore photography. Well, on my wishlist would include that spankin' new high definition Sony DSL-R camera. I really don't know how to use that Adobe Photoshop - but as an IT student, I'm working on it. I hate programming, though but THANK GOD I GET GOOD GRADES BECAUSE I WANT TO LEARN. I hate it when the professors are absent. You see, you pay thousands of pesos for such a piece of crap and your wasted effort? Nah-ah! I really have this passion to learn. I WANT TO LEARN SO MUCH BECAUSE I BELIEVE THAT KNOWLEDGE IS THE STRONGEST WEAPON YOU COULD EVER HAVE TO BE SUCCESSFUL IN YOUR LIFE.

I like reading encyclopedias and books. Novels had served as my inspiration to improve my writing. Yes, believe it or not, I'm a writer or should I say, I'm a so-called writer? Haha. Nevermind. I joined the Magdalenean (our school paper) and fortunately, I've been appointed as the Features Editor and that is the greatest accomplishment in my life! I joined competitions in and out of Cavite. I became the first placer (oh no, I'm not bragging about that) on Feature Writing in English on the Division Schools Press Conference Training in Perpetual Molino, Cavite and again - oh I hate this - the first placer in the Divison Schools Press Conference (that's the real deal!) in Imus Pilot Elementary School, Imus Cavite. I then competed in the Regional Schools Press Conference under the same category in Calamba, Laguna but unfortunately, I LOST! But that's okay. It's not everyday that you win the battle. Sometimes, you have to experience lost so that you'll improve next time and that is for your own good sake, right?.

I am the vocalist of the band Ampersand but we disbanded due to my transferring to another school mantra but I plan to form another band in my school if luck would permit me to do so. I play the guitar but I swear, I'm not that good. I can also pluck the bass guitar but let's forget about it. I'm not getting any better. Haha.

I am a self-confessed kikay but not that much. I like make-up but I don't like to wear super duper girly clothes. You can usually spot me in a t-shirt and jeans. It's better to be simple than to be fashionable - and it's only my opinion so to fashionistas out there, please forgive me for saying that, oh I beg you! What's more? I adore Bob Ong. I'm sure all of you guys out there adore him, too. Haha. Admit it!.

I like to eat, that's why I'm getting fat. But I don't mind. It's better to look like a pig than to look like a living dead. I don't want to look anorexic, of course. But forgive me again patriotic people - I don't usually eat Filipino dishes. I don't know. Maybe, I'm not fond of soups and veggies. But I eat salad, though. Pig-out, pig-out that's what I always do when I'm bored. But I thank my metabolism this summer vacation for it doesn't yearn too much on food. Haha. I've lost 5 pounds and I never plan on losing more calories, thank you very much.

I am an old soul. I like anything vintage. Elvis Presley, The Beatles, Manilyn Monroe, Frank Sinatra, Michael Jackson - and you name the godly music legends! Oh well, I ADORE MANNY PACQUIAO! I think he's the best boxer in the whole wide universe! Be proud guys that we're Filipino! :).

I have to admit that I can sometimes be a bad girl. Sure, I drink but not that much. I know the word DRINK MODERATELY. I love my liver, thank you. :). I'm still God-fearing, responsible and I love my studies and I wouldn't exchange my dignity for anything that can fulfill a human's materialistic desires. So I guess, that's too much. :). Now you know something about me. :DD

My precious moments at SDCAS

Shara, Me and Kenneth.

Our NSTP Class. :)

Naaalala ko, may hang-over ako niyan.
Sa labas ng 7/Eleven Binakayan, Cavite
at 3 am in the morning. After ng swimming yan.

Okay, Mike's doing that pose again.

Me and Chester noong nag-swimming kami sa
Cherry's.

Me, Fridz (playing the guitar) and Dindin.
Yes, we're singing onstage on the
Dominicans got talent show last December.
We sang 'My Immortal' Acoustic Version.

Our NSTP Class at Longos, Bacoor. Kenneth, Me and Vyron.
Ayaw pa magpakuha. Maarte kasi si Vyron.

Our Karakol Festival. I'm the leader
so that's why I'm wearing that
silly thing on my head. Darn.

Generoso! :)

My favorite pic!
From left to right: Johanne, Shara, Marlon,
Neren, Kenneth, Me and Dindin.

Doing this goofy pose with Shara, Kenneth and Dindin.
That's outside Neren's boarding house.

Our NSTP Class. Ewan ko, biglang napasinget
si Glenn eh wala naman siyang NSTP niyan.

Me, Micah and Shara while waiting for our
pizza sa Green Cab.

Me, Shara and Abie on the 7th Floor
after our English class.

My forever gross but cool guy friends: Mike,
Vyron, Glenn and Davin. :)

My first bunch of tropa from SDCAS: Micah,
Shara, Imelda and Davin.

Haha! Me and Abie. Hindi talaga mawawala ang
inuman sa amin. Ewan ko ba.

I remember that's our English class when
I took this picture. On the picture with me are:
Strawberry, Analita and Camille.

Our P.E Class. The BSIT 1-A students.

On the first row: Davin.
On the second row from left to right: Blanca, Dindin,
Glenn and Me.
On the third row from left to right: Micah, Emily and Kenneth.

Yan ang Group nila Shara and Dindin.
That's our CPU Troubleshooting exam.

Si Abie holding our F*cked up MIS Thesis.
Damn.

That's 4 am in the morning. Tulog na sina
Mike, Raymart at Kenneth.

Vyron naglalagay na ng red horse sa pitcher.

Goof! Goof! Goof. Haha. That's one of our
inuman sessions pics.

Eating lunch sa classroom.

Mike and Me. Lumabas lang kami
ng classroom niyan kasi bored na kami with
our Algebra class.

I took this picture noong pababa kami ng bangin.
That's Fridz, Kenneth, Ronald and Emily down there.

The FACK Society: Fuki, Amag, Cheesesticks, Karot.
They're my SDCAS Friends.

Before going to Tau Gamma Phi SDCAS Chapter's
Anniversary. Eto yung tambayan namin, yung bilyaran.
Extra pa yung mga Triskelion na guys sa likod
namin.
From left to right: Lorraine, Me, Paula, Rose and Rachelle.
On the background: Vic, Wong, Maeng and Micz.

My Band! Ampersand! :)

Me with my friends hanging out at Neren's boarding house.

Me and Neren bathing in the rain. It was so much fun!

On the first row: Neren and Camille.
On the second row: Emily, Me and Abie.
It was Neren's birthday when we took that
picture. I think it was last March 19.
Nag-overnight swimming kami noon sa Cherry's.

From left to right: Camille, Abie and Me
before our PE Class.

Ronald and Me, bathing at the river.
That's after breakfast. We decided to do
something fun to de-stress.

Me and Fridz (He's pretending that he's sleeping
for the sake of this picture). It was taken noong
nag-overnight kami kayna Emily at Molino, Cavite.

On the first row from left to right:
Shara, Camille and Me.
On the second row from left to right:
Neren, Emily, Dindin, Julie and Blanca.

Me fooling around sa class.

From left to right: Emily, Shara, Kenneth, Me and
Erwin. Uso ang shades nung last day ng Pre-Finals.

From left to right: Kenneth, Neren, Johanne and
Me. Sa aming overnight inuman sessions.

Micah and Me with Imelda's hands.
We're forming a heart.

Our Retreat in Oasis of Prayer, Silang, Cavite
with some of my BSIT 1-A Classmates.

Me and Vyron with our plastic Shrek, our robot project
in ITC 2 (Computer Application).

Ronald, Me and Emily at the bus. On the way
papunta sa bahay namin.

Waiting for a tricycle at Manggahan, Binakayan, Cavite.
I'm with Abie at that time. 3 am in the morning na yan.

Shara, Neren and Me at Neren's Boarding House