I never thought that after two years and eight months (ang tagal!) of togetherness, a relationship that seems to be a match made from heaven would have to, well - end.
Ngayon, single na ako. Single and ready to mingle. I always blame myself for being such a fool for being too blind because I really never saw it coming. I should have seen the signs but I know I can't do anything to turn it around because our love story is over and it's perfectly over that it's time for me to move on.
Well, it's always hard to move on and ask yourself if you could survive even a night without that special someone. Oh, he's always been a part of my life and forever will be a very special part of it. Ang dami, dami ko pa din regrets kahit wala na kami. Sana, hindi na lang ako naging ganito... Sana hindi na lang ako naging ganyan... Sana, I never took him for granted... Sana, inintindi ko na lang siya... Sana, marami akong alam sa nursing. There's a lot of shoulda, woulda and coulda's that it makes me very insane just to think about it. Pero ang pinakabest part dito, sa pagiging single ko, is to love myself more than anything else in this world. Hindi lang naman ako ang kaisa-isang tao na nawalan ng minamahal. Marami diyan at yung iba, mas worse pa yung break-up nila. You know, cases like physical abuse, mental abuse, infidelity and just simply not finding anything in common between each other. Ang dahilan lang naman kasi ng break-up namin is... not finding enough time to hang-out with each other. Well, it's on his side. He couldn't find any time with me because of him being busy with his studies. Ganoon ba talaga kahirap ang nursing? Ganoon ba talagang katoxic? Bakit naman yung iba, nagwowork pa din ang relationship nila kahit sobrang busy sa kanikanilang buhay? I personally think that it is a pathetic excuse. Sabi ng mga friends ko, baka 'daw ang cause ng break-up namin ay third party. I don't really want to believe it 'cause it friggin' hurts. Well, what's done is done and what's over is over. I've gotta move on and find a new life on my own. Pinanganak ako na ako lang mag-isa, kakayanin ko 'tong mag-isa. Pero sa totoo lang, secretly, iniisip ko pa 'din na sana magkabalikan kami. Iniisip ko din na marerealize niya na mahirap pala talaga na wala ako sa tabi niya. Sa dinami-dami ba namang pinagsamahan namin, di'ba? Mahal na mahal ko pa 'din siya and I can't deny it. Pero hindi na ako masyadong nalulungkot ngayon. Hindi ko na 'din siya iniiyakan. Tapos na eh. Ang sakit na at yung sakit na yun, ginamit ko yun para maging mas strong pa ako. Ang dami dami pa diyan na mas better pa. Pero am I ready to start a new relationship again? No. I don't think so. I think I'm better off alone. I'm glad my friends are with me to keep me company whenever I'm feeling down. Mas hindi ko siguro makakaya kapag sila yung nawala sa akin. And I've got so much more time bonding with my family. Being single has never been this good! Halos three years 'din ako naging UN-single kaya namimiss ko itong buhay na 'to. Inaamin ko, I can still feel the bitterness inside of me pero wala na akong magagawa eh. May own life na 'din siya and I've got my own, too. And now I'm feeling stronger.
Well, it's always hard to move on and ask yourself if you could survive even a night without that special someone. Oh, he's always been a part of my life and forever will be a very special part of it. Ang dami, dami ko pa din regrets kahit wala na kami. Sana, hindi na lang ako naging ganito... Sana hindi na lang ako naging ganyan... Sana, I never took him for granted... Sana, inintindi ko na lang siya... Sana, marami akong alam sa nursing. There's a lot of shoulda, woulda and coulda's that it makes me very insane just to think about it. Pero ang pinakabest part dito, sa pagiging single ko, is to love myself more than anything else in this world. Hindi lang naman ako ang kaisa-isang tao na nawalan ng minamahal. Marami diyan at yung iba, mas worse pa yung break-up nila. You know, cases like physical abuse, mental abuse, infidelity and just simply not finding anything in common between each other. Ang dahilan lang naman kasi ng break-up namin is... not finding enough time to hang-out with each other. Well, it's on his side. He couldn't find any time with me because of him being busy with his studies. Ganoon ba talaga kahirap ang nursing? Ganoon ba talagang katoxic? Bakit naman yung iba, nagwowork pa din ang relationship nila kahit sobrang busy sa kanikanilang buhay? I personally think that it is a pathetic excuse. Sabi ng mga friends ko, baka 'daw ang cause ng break-up namin ay third party. I don't really want to believe it 'cause it friggin' hurts. Well, what's done is done and what's over is over. I've gotta move on and find a new life on my own. Pinanganak ako na ako lang mag-isa, kakayanin ko 'tong mag-isa. Pero sa totoo lang, secretly, iniisip ko pa 'din na sana magkabalikan kami. Iniisip ko din na marerealize niya na mahirap pala talaga na wala ako sa tabi niya. Sa dinami-dami ba namang pinagsamahan namin, di'ba? Mahal na mahal ko pa 'din siya and I can't deny it. Pero hindi na ako masyadong nalulungkot ngayon. Hindi ko na 'din siya iniiyakan. Tapos na eh. Ang sakit na at yung sakit na yun, ginamit ko yun para maging mas strong pa ako. Ang dami dami pa diyan na mas better pa. Pero am I ready to start a new relationship again? No. I don't think so. I think I'm better off alone. I'm glad my friends are with me to keep me company whenever I'm feeling down. Mas hindi ko siguro makakaya kapag sila yung nawala sa akin. And I've got so much more time bonding with my family. Being single has never been this good! Halos three years 'din ako naging UN-single kaya namimiss ko itong buhay na 'to. Inaamin ko, I can still feel the bitterness inside of me pero wala na akong magagawa eh. May own life na 'din siya and I've got my own, too. And now I'm feeling stronger.
2 comments:
napagtripan ko magbasa ng mga simula. mga unang post,,
mahirap mag move-on,,
Hmmm.. masakit nga pero you have to move on..
Magaling din na you've learned from your mistakes and think positively...
Cheers~
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